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Oct. 9th, 2009 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
graceful_descent[[OOC: This is just a copy and paste from another thread. It's a shortened version of how Lucifer feels on the entire situation as well as his thoughts on Yahweh and what happened. Shortened. Should the button be mashed again, I seriously doubt it will be this compact. In short, saved for canon purposes.]]
You think His absence makes us equal? You think this is at all comparable?
I don't think you understand the magnitude of what He DID, Dean.
Humans are not capable of this depth of love. To adore the Father with every fiber of your being, every aching second of complete devotion because He has created you and you are created for Him. You spend your entire life heeding His command without second thought because He is everything you know, everything you need to know. But then, He makes you doubt. Intentionally, He plants a seed of doubt into you and you love Him despite it, you love despite not understanding why He could do something that was so unfairly cruel. But then He asks something unreasonable, something that defies everything you have ever believed, everything you have ever been created to do. You refuse- you know it's the right thing to do for how can you deny your entire existence for this? For something so horribly flawed, something so completely incapable of this infallible love that He is?
A single transgression and He betrays you. He abandons you. He stops speaking to you all together, you His most faithful, His most loving. The very point of your existence is more than ready to shove you outside and locks the gates behind you. Now you, who have only ever know Him and His love are suddenly so far from His light that it rips you apart from the inside. For all that I claim I left of my own volition- and certainly my reasons were good, I was set up. From the start He had intended this. He intentionally ripped His Grace from me.
You can't comprehend the agony of this. Of falling from Grace. The pain is... unspeakable. It is a completely incomprehensible pain that transcended understanding, because in your weak, fragile bodies, humans couldn't endure it for even a fraction of a moment. It makes the culmination of every war pale in comparison, makes every suffering your species has endured a shallow scratch. It is the most exquisite, profound pain that any creature could ever know and He did it to me WILLINGLY. And even falling so far, into the company of those who would hate and abhor you as much or more than they love you, He did not stop. In every book was I written as an unforgivable traitor, a beast of savagery, a black mark on the beauty of Heaven. Villainous, treacherous, unfaithful, hateful.
I LOVED HIM. I KNEW God, stood in His presence. Most of my siblings can't even claim this! Certainly not you, His beloved creation who have lost your faith, who no longer believe in Him. Those who do believe in Him have never truly known Him, are still incapable of perceiving His full glory. How can you miss what you cannot comprehend or what you never believed was there?!
No, not only did He choose you above me, not only did He condemn me for a single act, not only was it His Will from the beginning, I was RIGHT. Humans are lying, manipulative, murderous, vindictive, cruel, callous, heartless savages who deserve His absence, His silence, and you never deserved His love. Not from the beginning and certainly not now.
You think His absence makes us equal? You think this is at all comparable?
I don't think you understand the magnitude of what He DID, Dean.
Humans are not capable of this depth of love. To adore the Father with every fiber of your being, every aching second of complete devotion because He has created you and you are created for Him. You spend your entire life heeding His command without second thought because He is everything you know, everything you need to know. But then, He makes you doubt. Intentionally, He plants a seed of doubt into you and you love Him despite it, you love despite not understanding why He could do something that was so unfairly cruel. But then He asks something unreasonable, something that defies everything you have ever believed, everything you have ever been created to do. You refuse- you know it's the right thing to do for how can you deny your entire existence for this? For something so horribly flawed, something so completely incapable of this infallible love that He is?
A single transgression and He betrays you. He abandons you. He stops speaking to you all together, you His most faithful, His most loving. The very point of your existence is more than ready to shove you outside and locks the gates behind you. Now you, who have only ever know Him and His love are suddenly so far from His light that it rips you apart from the inside. For all that I claim I left of my own volition- and certainly my reasons were good, I was set up. From the start He had intended this. He intentionally ripped His Grace from me.
You can't comprehend the agony of this. Of falling from Grace. The pain is... unspeakable. It is a completely incomprehensible pain that transcended understanding, because in your weak, fragile bodies, humans couldn't endure it for even a fraction of a moment. It makes the culmination of every war pale in comparison, makes every suffering your species has endured a shallow scratch. It is the most exquisite, profound pain that any creature could ever know and He did it to me WILLINGLY. And even falling so far, into the company of those who would hate and abhor you as much or more than they love you, He did not stop. In every book was I written as an unforgivable traitor, a beast of savagery, a black mark on the beauty of Heaven. Villainous, treacherous, unfaithful, hateful.
I LOVED HIM. I KNEW God, stood in His presence. Most of my siblings can't even claim this! Certainly not you, His beloved creation who have lost your faith, who no longer believe in Him. Those who do believe in Him have never truly known Him, are still incapable of perceiving His full glory. How can you miss what you cannot comprehend or what you never believed was there?!
No, not only did He choose you above me, not only did He condemn me for a single act, not only was it His Will from the beginning, I was RIGHT. Humans are lying, manipulative, murderous, vindictive, cruel, callous, heartless savages who deserve His absence, His silence, and you never deserved His love. Not from the beginning and certainly not now.
